And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
