I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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