You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
