...so i touched it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
