Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
