just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
