ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
