I think I won the penis lottery.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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