I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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