wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
