My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
