Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
