Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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