going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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