I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
