I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
