Jerry, you need to find god
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
