We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
