Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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