I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Alive.
So much puke
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
