I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize