I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
