I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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