no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
