its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm passing your future prison.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
