I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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