There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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