dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
