Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
