i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Everclear isn't food dammit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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