enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
