my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
