it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
