and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize