Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
