Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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