Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
