dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
