i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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