I should be sponsored by Trojan
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
