Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize