i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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