I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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