Dual....:-)
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
