Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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