:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
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Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
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Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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