And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
