Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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