was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
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when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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