Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
