At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
