hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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