I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He is an equal opportunity slut.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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