he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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