so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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