One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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