i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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