It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
