my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
there is glitter all over my balls
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
