I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Randomize
