True but thats because hes a fetus.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
