Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
