Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

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(201): View more from New Jersey

We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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(231): View more from Michigan

the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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(214): View more from Texas

Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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(440): View more from Ohio

While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.

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(517): View more from Michigan

First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.

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(703): View more from Virginia

i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.

(330): View more from Ohio

I need to meet your family.

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