I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
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dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
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You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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