Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
