I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
