This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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