remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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