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dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
