who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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