He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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